Dark Alchemy Mezzanotte : 21/04/2006 - 23/06/2007

... Someone told me that if a dream is too good then, with the arrival of the day you'll forget it ... it isn't so for me I will always remember you! forever! Here in my heart there is a place for you, yes just here in my heart from which no one could ever take away. And if today the anniversary of the day you flew away my face is wet with tears, there are days when I think of you even to remember you and your love. The joy of having you with me, even the little time we have been granted, struggle every day to avoid being tarnished by the pain of not having you more but, my sweet Mezzanottino, I promise I'll never forget, for the entire life! and one day beyond that bridge, we'll be back together, this time forever! 23.06.2010

 

One year has passed by from when you were not with us. It seems to me it was yesterday that you slept on my neck. This morning I've light up a candle for you and for Isabeau, I hope you were togehther now. I go on day by day, remembering about the heart I once had, that heart who tought that love can fight death, and win. Now a part of my heart has died, but for the heart I once had I'm still going by along this scary and wonderful life. And you all are my life, present and past because even if I know that love can't win against death, I'm still sure that my love for you will never die. 23/06/2008

 

"They say memories are golden, well may be that is true. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you. A million time I needed you, a million times I cried... If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill. If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane, I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again." " One upon a time people was convinced that when someone died a crow will carries its spirit in the earth of the dead. Sometimes things so cruel, painful, and sad happened that the spirit could not rest… therefore, sometimes, but only sometimes, the crow brought back behind the spirit because it replaced the things to place… ." from "The Crow"

our sweet little angels: Nikita, Niloofar, Niamei e Nempti 01/06/2007 - 04/06/2007

Il cuore ha le dimensioni di un pugno chiuso ed ha la forma simile ad una pera con la punta rivolta verso il basso, il cuore è l’organo simbolo dell’amore, segue il ritmo delle emozioni, normalmente in una persona adulta il cuore si contrae 60-70 volte al minuto, in una persona innamorata molte di più, a volte si arriva a 100, senza rendersene conto…il cuore continua a battere…anche quando chi ami se ne va, anche quando tu non vuoi più soffrire…non puoi comandare quel muscolo, non puoi decidere quanto amore dare e quando smettere di soffrire…
I miei 4 piccoli deliziosi angioletti sono volati in cielo…l'unica magra magrissima consolazione è che ho fatto tutto quanto era in mio potere x salvarli e li ho amati tantissimo, per quel poco che mi è stato concesso di averli con me...
Ma ti resta quella sensazione, in fondo allo stomaco, nascosta fra le pieghe del cuore, quella sensazione come di avere dimenticato di dire o fare qualcosa... come se il mondo si fosse messo a girare troppo veloce...e poi resta la sensazione della gioia provata nel vederli la prima volta, subito spenta dal dolore della morte e della disperazione.
Un tuffo al cuore, quasi uno spavento, ma costante, sempre presente, a ricordare che 4 piccole vite sono volate via, come piccole piume nel vento, senza che si potesse fare nulla per trattenerle…io e la loro mamma li abbiamo amati tanto…ma non sempre tutto l’amore che abbiamo in quell’organo chiamato cuore, può sconfiggere la morte…
Sento un dolore nel petto, un dolore che viene alleviato ogni tanto come da mille mani vellutate che mi abbracciano il cuore, da baffi che mi sfiorano, da musatine affettuose e da fusa meste che leniscono il dolore, un dolore che faccio fatica a capire e a vivere…non vi dimenticherò mai piccoli angioletti, Nikita, Niloofar, Niamei e Nempti, non ho voluto che volaste via senza un nome, perché i vostri nomi non saranno mai su nessun pedigree, ma resteranno vergati per sempre in un piccolo pezzetto del mio cuore…
Abbiamo sperato in un piccolo miracolo, ma abbiamo chiesto troppo...ora sono con Isabeau, che li amerà come tutti i cuccioli nati da noi...e a noi resta soltanto il dolore, troppo grande per essere descritto con semplici parole umane.

I look at your photos, there is one where you make a strange face, and every time I see her makes me smile because I remember the good times together, especially as I have loved you. The heart never stops loving! When this day comes I feel all the pain of your loss and I feel as if I lacked the air, I feel like choking my sweet Isabeau but everyone else I plan to remember how you were when you were alive and happy with us : your photos are hung on the wall, where no one can take you away from me and every day looking at your sweet eyes, I remember how much joy you gave me, and that will remain in my heart forever! Always loved never forgotten! We will always love you my little Isa-Isa! 23.06.2010

 

Two years have gone by, mu sweetest one, but you're still in my heart forever and ever. Even if my heart is still so sad. I see your eyes in the stars by night, I hear at your voice in the sound of memories, i feel your wet nose in the first air of the evening, I 'll love you forever and this will be eternally true. 23/06/2008.

 

23.06.2007: thinking about you, Isabeau If tears could build a stairway And memories build a lane, I'd walk ride up to heaven And bring you back again… We will never forget you. Always in our minds, always in our hearts, forever in my soul... It was too soon for you to leave, It was too soon for me to live without you. I only hope now you're in peace and glad.. Nothing can make me forget my pain But I know somewhere, somehow We will meet again…someday. Thank you, Isabeau, for all the time we spent together, I will always love you.

 

23.06.2006...destiny has turned out the light for me : my beloved Isabeau has died...and I don't care about nothing....I can't make up my mind...it seems to me anything has been lost with her.

23.06.2006

Destiny Has turned out the light today for me...and maybe will never turned them in

I'm thinking about that " the show must go on", I will have to do many things, every day....Isn't important the Pain that we have inside..

Someone told me that Dead is a part of the circle of Life

But now it is difficult for me to understand, Isabeau was too young, I feel no hope, only pain ...She's isn't Here with me...

I have only this though, and this thought is like a blade that still hurts my heart ...

There's no comfort in the words, there's no one left to say...nothing left to do.....

While I'm feeling blue and while I would want to take apart the world and to see how much is cruel...

It does not remain nothingl if not memories that are gone some… and I'm scared to forget about she, of how much were beautiful to caress her silky fur and to lose to me in those eyes that were an entire universe. .e of her voice and of the things that she made… of the sweet little kisse that she gave to us on hairs and of her sad lovely face that she put on when we went away to go to work … (now it seems to me nearly that nobody is waiting for my returning home) and of how much was beautiful to hold her tight to me… would want to sleep and only to forget, but at the same time I have fear to sleep because I do not want to forget her ….never.

It's Incredible as a full house of cats may seems empty without Her … as empty now is my heart… is angry, confused, hurted in the deep e… I need to stay a little time alone to reflect and to make up my mind for a reason .. even if I do not know if I will make it or simply the pain will become lighter day by day but will always walk hand in the hand with me… Isabeau we will never forget you! … and every morning , waking up I will think about that it has been only an ugly dream, and every time I will understand that instead it is the truth, a small part of me will die...every time … with you …

 

.....Isabeau has died for an Ictus...too young to die...without a reason....too young to leave us alone...

"... I wish you were here
Don't you know the snow is getting colder?
And I miss you like hell
And I'm feeling blue

I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
I miss everything about you
Every second is like a minute
Every minute's like a day
When you're far away ..."